Helen Palmer (nice_cup_of_tea) wrote,
Helen Palmer
nice_cup_of_tea

Easter Miracle or "Finding the Crunchie recipe", part 2!

Previously, on the finding Pauline Palmer tag.... At Christmas my sister Kate found the crunchie recipe. She's been trying it several times, but we weren't convinced this was the hallowed crunchie recipe.... And I've been turning this over in my mind ever since.

Fast forward to this weekend my marathon easter-fuelled bake-off and I was looking through my red recipes folder. In the front pocket there are a few old recipes books and oddes&sods that I can't or won't through away. One of these was a small recipe booked created by MacDougalls flour, that my mum gave me. It must have been her copy as a young woman, because it cost 1 shilling back in the day and is held together by yellowing sellotape!


Anyway, I was pretty sure that it wouldn't have the recipe in, but I flicked through it anyway. Suet pudding anyone?

And then I turned to the front inside cover, to find my mum's handwriting and the crunchie recipe


and here was the predecessor...


I'm not sure why, but finding this recipe, in her handwriting, just unleashed a whole shit load of grief and ugly crying. I think it's guilt and regret that I never asked her all the questions I could have done. Guilt that there is so little I can do for her now. Grief because the real Pauline Palmer has left the building, her soul and mind and love have gone, just her body remains. I think baking and recipes just bring it back. Kate and I had been puzzling over the recipe and realizing that we'd long since missed our chance to ask her....
Tags: family, grief, memories, pp
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