It made me smile in recognition and nod in agreement. I am lucky enough to have the wonderful Claire Pearson take photos of our family from when Markus was a very small bump. I was so thrilled to be pregnant against the odds, that I wanted to document everything. We have had the luxury of Claire following our family across the years, capturing us, our happiness, our playing together. Capturing the moments behind the scenes, the outtakes...
The next one is coming up soon, but I have been putting it off. I am at my heaviest yet, don't feel good in my skin. Feel old, tired, heavy, middle aged. Don't want the photographic evidence, wish I could hide behind a costume, hide the fact I am getting old. But I read the article and the final photo made me cry. Don't we all want to escape our gorilla outer and unmask ourselves?
And I remember that my boys argue to sit next to me, that they poke me slightly wobbly tummy, but then come in for a cuddle, that they (mostly) light up when I come home from work. And I remember that there is a value in document all our phases and stages. I am sure I will look back at myself at 43 and tut and say "silly girl, you were so young and full of energy and loved and beautiful". So I will channel my grumpy 80 year old self, book our next shoot and embrace where I find myself and my family.
And on a gorilla related note - my boys have been singing song constantly about a gorilla with sunglasses - I thought they were sort of making it up, but it appears to be a real song and everything. Go figure :-)
"Der Gorilla mit der Sonnenbrille" Lyrics