It has certainly been a couple of stressful months. I didn’t particularly enjoy packing and cleaning the flat and leaving London, whilst Alan was already here. The stress of the Module 4 essay was almost unbearable. I thought it would make things easier, to go back and forth between London and Zurich. I certainly didn’t feel ready to leave my shift and in fact, I still don’t, although I’ve only got a few shifts left now. Over time though, I’ve found it harder and harder to leave Zurich. I don’t know how long we’ll stay here, but already I feel very settled. It feels good to be building a new life with Alan. We’ve talked more and done more together, than we ever did in London. The sex is slowly getting better and better, and today, I even feel as though I might be pregnant.
The challenge of living here, is the challenge of actively doing new things. Because it’s such a new environment, that means things as simple as having a coffee in a new café, finding a new restaurant to eat at, or just taking the opportunity to explore new streets. Sometimes, the challenges aren’t huge in themselves. Its more a case of actually doing it, actually getting out and chalking up a new experience, however small, instead of staying in the flat and doing what I normally do.
I think my feelings of contentment and feeling settled are helped by the fact that the research is going well. I know more about what I want to do, and the research interviews schedule is definitely coming together. I’m excited about what I might find. It’s hard to admit that London made me so miserable, and that DTZ was a fairly negative experience by the end. It’s fair to say that 2003 was a difficult year for both of us. Just for the fact that we were both working so hard and both so stressed – even Alan. Until you move away from that context you don’t see the downsides. We had very little time off and I certainly found the degree hard to keep going with.