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On breastfeeding, blogging and balance

My life at the moment revolves entirely around breastfeeding. I had forgotten this. I had forgotten how my brain now resides at boob level - are they full, is he hungry, have I eaten and drunk enough today? I had forgotten how unpredictable daily life is, we have no fixed routine yet and how hard it is to get anything else today. I had forgotten how frustrating it can be, when I feel that all I do all day is sit and feed. If I'm being honest, I sometimes feel resentful at the time that I am stuck on the sofa. I sometimes feel frustrated at Patrick constantly eating during the evening. I had forgotten how exhausting it is, that it feel as though my energy is being sucked out of me.

And yet, and yet.... I am so glad that I can breastfeed and I am thrilled that Patrick is growing so well. I try and remember to savour each breastfeeding moment, because it is such a short time. I gaze down at him and gently stroke his head. I love the (huge) burps I can coax outo of (little) Patrick and the funny faces that he pulls after feeding. I remember that breastfeeding teaches me the ultimate lesson in setting priorities - there is nothing more important at this time than feeding my baby.

It is hard at the moment to find any balance for me and I need to know that this won't always be the case and also that this is okay. Blogging once a day is my goal, knowing that I can reflect and write about my life as it is. i am trying to find the ^best breastfeeding position so that I can also type at the same time! It's nearly working.... but maybe resorting to pen and paper, dictating it to my mobile phone, or even just writing it through in my head are better options.

Oh and I had forgotten how those pesky hormones keep me HOT and make me cry!

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