November 28th, 2021


Gingerbread Digipigis and other Saturday tasks!

For a lazy day, in which I didn't get of my jimjams, I feel have felt exhausted all day. Mind you, this week I was back to 100% at work and it was manic.

Alan was out on his CAS, so the boys and I amused ourselves thus.....
- some reading (all of us!)
- some watching of Naruto on Netflix (them!)
- German homework (M&me)
- making a list on the whiteboard (me)
- making advert posters (them with a few tantrums thrown in)
- Making gingerbread digipigs (P&me) - and "fake" maltesters!
- And I also listened to music that i had got transferred from tape and record, and watched some videos of guide camps in the 80s. Lots of crying... the power of music and memories
- and lots of blogs written:

- More User Pics
- Dear Mum... Hickory Dickory Dock
- Dear Mum....Childhood Music Favourites
- Way of the Dragon
- Tea addiction


Dear Mum... Advent

Dear Mum,

Advent was a big deal in our house. We had an advent ring that came out every year. It had holes for the candles, plasticine to stick them in, and fresh tin foil on top each year.
4 white candles for the sundays of advent, a red candle in the middle for Christmas Day. Each year we replaced the decorations on top.
There was also a lot of negotiations as to who would light the candles. Look at Chris's face in this one, and my concentration, plus you, Grandma and Granny all helping me!

I love this photo Mum and I always thought you were the photographer in the family, but Dad must have taken this one.
I love the dining table  - with hairy mats, melon for starter, and the advent calendar on the wall behind Grandpa. It was definitely a bit of squeeze for 5 adults and 3 children.
I must have been 7, Chris 5, Kate 2 in her high chair with bib! Oh, and that 70s wallpaper - we didn't notice it after a while!

Mum, I also love the fact that you were wearing your favourite clothkits dress and it's clear you were the one in control!

Love you,

Advent, Advent!

Advent has a special place in my heart, not just for the time of reflection and preparation, but also because I found I was pregnant both times in advent :-)
Advent was also a huge deal for my Mum and I have so many happy family memories of Advent...

Oh, and I often do a an Advent challenge, like this one in 2014. And also, who doesn't love candles, advent rings, decorations & Samichlaus!

This year I am focussing on my career next steps and finally getting to grip with my weight.
I've my first mentoring session at work next week, my first career coaching sessions with My Blue Sky, I've signed up with Balance360 and i've booked a first session with a hypnotherapost
I will re-find the new, brave, courageous me - who seems to have got lost at the moment.

Anyway, today...
* Patrick the Elf and I packed up the parcels for my team (he was more enthusiastic than accurate!) Sorr yin advance, team!
* I went to post office
* I went into the city, since this is one of 3 Sundays in the year, that the shops are open :-)
* Did some career thinking and writing
* cleared the rest of Patrick's bedroom.

Think that's enough :-)

blogs written
An update to the Dear Mum... Tea Rituals
Dear Mum... Advent
- autumn walk on Uetliberg with Caroline and Ole
- Full Moon Paddle
- Tents in Trees
- Messing about on the water.... summer days in Zürich

tea break

An update to the "Dear Mum... Tea Rituals" Blog

There is a reason that I write everything down, keep every email, postcard etc. My subconcious knows me and knew then, that I would need memories of my Mum now, ie in the future...

In this blog, Dear Mum... Tea Rituals, I wrote about a postcard I found when clearing my Parents's house. I'd sent the postcard to mum and had taken it home with me.

I just now found a blog I wrote in 2007, about Mum's reaction to this very postcard!
Yay for me and my obsessive blogging and memories, which bring Mum a little closer :-)

We did have chats over our cups of tea, just found this blog as well....

End of a busy weekend....

... and the to-do list in the kitchen shows the status! I'm done in and off to bed.

I'm beyond sad, that due to the Omicron variant and UK being on the red list for Switzerland, we probably won't be going to the UK for Christmas. I can't even think about it at the moment, am just too sad.

Let's hope for a Christmas miracle....

Dear Mum.... the last "normal" weekend

Dear Mum,

I so love this photo. We all look so happy, you're smiling and looking into the camera for the selfie, as is Dad. You knew who you were and who I was.
And yet I can't look at this photo without crying, for grieving for what we've lost.

This was taken in February 2017. I dropped in for one night, after coming down from London after the LT conference.
I remember that I took you both for a meal at a local pub, and Mum, you were so quiet. No conversation or chatter from you, you couldn't really answer any questions about friends or what was going on.
I suppose I had an inkling then, that things were changing. But at the time I was just frustrated and a bit cross with you :-(

And yet, you still brought me breakfast in bed on the Sunday! I wish I had appreciated it more. This is the last normal weekend I can remember, or the last time I can remember when you were you.

Just a year after this, you got a formal "diagnosis" about Alzheimer's from the memory clinic. You stopped driving after that, which was the beginning of the end of both of you being truly independent.
You and Dad held each other up, complemented each other's weaknesses with your strengths. Went on constant day trips on many buses!

And when I next saw you at home in Nov 2018, you had really started to slip away, although on the surface, everything still looked okay. I stayed a weekend in Feb 2019, and things had deteriorated further.
Mum, you sort of knew who I was, but kept calling me Kate.

I think the last time I saw you at home was Dec 2019 after Christmas. Mum, I have a lovely photo of you showing my boys "the Anchorage".

Mum, I wish you could "hear" and "read" these posts and know how much I love you and how much I know you did for me.
I spend so much time at the moment, looking back, remembering - trying to fix in my memory the last time I saw you, the last time you did something. It's like a grotesque childhood in reverse.

I love you Mum,