August 22nd, 2016


First Day at School for Markus.

Well, first day at school today for Markus. He was so excited, but reality kicked in when we got to the classroom door. All the parents stayed for the first hour or so, Markus was a bit clingy and nervous. It's hard - all the other new kids knew other people in the class, Markus is coming in alone from a different Kindergarten.

Alan and I make a good team - I talked to the teachers and sorted out admin and paperwork etc. Alan gradually helped Markus disengage from him and play with the other kids.

I feel emotionally drained and exhausted at the moment. I am sitting here at home, wondering how he is getting on. I want him to have a good day. To be brave, overcome his shyness and nervousness. I can't help him, I have to let go and he has to do this himself. This is hard. Roll on 4 o'clock when I can pick him up....


A Tale of "Letting Go" in two parts - some Children's Books and a Sri Lankan Tea Service

Letting go has been the theme of this summer.

I am struck by the push and pull of my needs and drives. I want my kids close, to support them, to help them. To be in the phase that we feel comfortable in. Yet I know that our job as parents is to let them go at each stage, support them in learning the next skills, going to school, making new friends, dealing with their own challenges in their own ways. I find it very hard to get this balance right, but at least I do recognize that I struggle with this.

Letting Go Part 1
The boys cleared out their books recently. Alan helped, I stayed well out of it!
Most of the books went to the large Bücher Brocky in Enge, but first I pulled out my favourites. Most of these were passed onto Kinderkrippe as a leaving present. Each book that we given away was loved and re-read. I know who gave us each book, or where we got it from. I remember for each story, which bits the boys loved best. SO many hours of bedtime stories. So much love and cuddles. But still hard to give the books away... and yet the boys want different stories now, need different things. Onwards and upwards.

oh, and all the books are listed here

Letting Go Part 2
this tea set belonged to my Gran - given to her by her son (my Uncle Gerry) when he was in Sri Lanka many many years ago. I think kept it for best :-) Like grandmother, like granddaughter. Mum gave the box to me probably 30 years ago. It was moved at every house move, but stayed in the box, packed with newspapers from decades ago. I finally took everything out of the box, honesty decided that I would never use it and gave it with love to my local charity shop. It's now beautifully on show in the window :-) I realized that handing onto the tea service does not prove my love from my Gran or my Uncle. It's just a thing - i can let go :-)

Update - First day of school done!

THAT was a very long day! Never been so happy to see 4 o'clock roll around. My darling child got on fine the rest of the day. Got to Hort for lunch (after school care), had gym in the afternoon with his class, went back to Hort and i picked him up from there. He told me "It wasn't so difficult" and then complained he hadn't found a friend yet...

I feel completely drained and on edge. I think we will take the next 2 weeks day by day. I am working from home these 2 weeks, so I can pick him up earlier ie 4ish rather than at 6. And we already have a list of dates from the class about outings, events etc and 2 extra school free days between now and Christmas!

When we got home, Patrick helped me make Markus's favourite meal - Pancakes!