February 17th, 2012

keep calm

I feel in control when...

.. my blogs are up to date, my photos are edited and uploaded, the fridge is full and I have a menu plan for the week. What I need to learn is how to feel okay about stuff, when all these things AREN'T done. Surely I can feel in control if my photos aren't quite perfect? :)

When do you feel in control?

Original article from RED below.

Marvellous 24 hours a day?

"Children don't need their parents to be marvellous 24 hours a day - their needs are quite basic - yet targeting small people as consumers has convinced us otherwise. We are afraid that if we deny them something, they might not love us."
Stephanie Calman from www.badmothersclub.co.uk

I find this quote extremely true and reassuring. I remind myself that my boys need me to love them and feed them and keep them safe. The rest is just noise. And having had a few days to myself in the flat (and feeling less anxious than I have in many months), I realised that I need to care for myself too. Denying myself space and time does not necessarily help M and P. Having time away from both of them has helped me to recharge and to see how much I do do for them.

Lisa Belfield (Huffington Post) writes today in the Huffington Post about the constant judgements (cultural or otherwise) between parents, the comparison of parenting styles, the fear that other people are better parents than us. And suggests that this is not helpful or healthy behaviour.

I read two books in the last year that really helped me with the fear that I was not doing this parenting thing correctly! I can highly recommend Under Pressure by Carl Honore (author of "in praise of slow") and Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman

If I am marvellous for just a few minutes a day, that's enough for me :-) And hopefully my boys too!