June 10th, 2007

cs

A Life out of Balance

I've been thinking a lot about balance and life over the past few days. Namely, I haven't got any at the moment.

The last couple of weeks and months have just been work, work, work. My polish project is sucking the last drops of life blood out of me! I exaggerate slightly, but there is more work than hours in the day. I am trying to work smarter, not harder, but don`t seem to be succeeding.

On the good side, most days I really get a buzz. I love my job, I feel part of the team and I'm charge of a huge project, which is mostly going well. I feel creative and things are happening because of me. Unbelievable I have been at CS now for a year. And I can see the huge progress that I have made. A huge achievement this week was training in German for a whole day, on my own, and getting really good feedback! Of course, I very quickly dismiss these positive things....

On the flip side, the last week or two I have been really struggling. My energy and motivation levels have been exhausted. Of course this has a lot to do with TOTM last week. I realise this, but always manage to discount it. I need energy to get me through to at least mid-August and at the moment I don't see that happening.

At the moment I also feel pretty guilty about a multitude of things. Why worry singly when you can worry multiply? In no particular order:
I'm eating badly
not exercising, not running
not writing in livejournal
not doing journaleer homeworks
not getting to yoga
generally not doing the things that I enjoy doing

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am still around and am working hard to get my life into balance again....