I’ve been struggling recently to motivate myself. I think that I have a fear of time passing, that I always berate myself for not doing things to some sort of ‘absolute’ timescale. I try to be too honest about my abilities and fears, and I constantly crave reassurance from others – i.e. my supervisor. Sometimes I fear that I’m not strong enough to do this research. I should learn to live in the present, the here and now, live in the moment – rather than constantly looking back with regrets or looking fearfully forward. Why is it so hard for me to get back to work and to finish writing up? Maybe part of me just doesn’t want to write anymore, read anything else, or work at cutting words. Maybe I’m just lazy! I think I might be fearful of finishing, of saying, “this is it, this is my research, these are my conclusions”. I just don’t want to hear the result, for fear that it will not be the one I want.