Today I will be:

reading my RED magazine in bed, with a nice cup of tea
sorting my photos and blogging
going into town to buy me some new work clothes (and maybe a few things for the boys)
taking myself to lunch
Having my hair washed and dryed straight
having an eyebrow shape
mini family photo shoot with the lovely Claire Pearson (hope the weather improves)
Out for meat with Alan

Nothing is more exhausting than the task that is never started
Gretchen Rubin (The Happiness Project)

Although a nine month old who still wakes once or twice a night to feed is a close contender...

At the moment I feel that I am only just keeping up with my "real life" - I have been back at work 80% since Mid March and the transition back to working life has been relatively smooth. It's a good day when we all get to nursery/Work on time, with clean clothes and full bellies. I have just about got a good weekly routine going for cooking / cleaning / washing / shopping. Mr.ncot has just started his MBA (away every other weekend). Between us, we are doing okay.

BUT this leaves no time for blogging or photos. I have 500 photos to sort out from the last 6 weeks, plus 6 weeks of Patrick/Markus updates. And this is the task that is exhausting me! I feel so much better when I have regular time to write and "organise" my virtual life, but am just not sure where to find this time. I need to make this a priority though, as it makes me feel much more balance and sane.

Today I have the day off, so expect a few blogs and photo updates!

Sometimes i wonder what I get done with my (precious) spare time. Since being back at work, blogging has taken a back seat, even though I know that writing helps me retain my sanity. I seem to get from day to day, go to bed early, to try and get a jump start on the next working day. We are slowly finding our work rhythm and I remind myself that every day tthat we all get to work/kinderkrippe with full bellies and clean clothes, is an achievement in itself :-)

Running has taken a high priority - I want to lose weight, get fit again - because I know this has a good knock on effect.

And yet I feel so behind with my blogs and snapshots.

I note every day on idonethis.com what I got done that day, and here is a word cloud. I am pleased that my boys appear in big letters, but it also shows how much time I spend on running the family!

I am loving my runmeter app for me iphone - have completed 6 walk/runs since last weekend

Tues: Home to nursery, 1.32 miles, 19.38mins, avg pace 14.52 mile, fastest pace 10.33 mile

Weds: Home to nursery, 1.30 miles, 19.56mins, avg pace 15.19 mile, fastest pace 11.49 mile

Fri: Sihl/Allemand/Sihlcity, 4.08 miles, 1:01:19 hour, avg pace 15.01 mile, fastest pace 10.51 mile

Sat: Sihl/Rietberg/Lake/Canal, 3.34 miles, 51.05 mins, avg pace 15.17 mile, fastest pace 10.44 mile

Sun: Sihl/Allemand/Sihlcity, 4.2 miles, 56.45 mins, avg pace 13.31 mile, fastest pace 8.50 mile

Mon: Sihl/Rietberg/Lake/Canal, 3.49 miles, 47.02 8mins, avg pace 13.28 mile, fastest pace 9.24 mile

Plus, thanks to eating less carbs and getting more active, I have lost 2kg and am now (just) under the 80kg barrier (haven't been there since being pregnant with Patrick)! Am committed to doing three more walk/runs this week. Getting active makes me feel that I can deal with the rest of the stuff in my life!

I am loving my new running tools!
Run, Fat Bitch, Run
101 Running Songs on my iphone
Runmeter App for my new iphone

The "run fat bitch, run" book (a bit tongue in cheek) reminds me to get out for an hour, 3 times a week. If I can sit on the sofa watching crappy tv in the evening, then I can get out for an hour! Yesterday I walked a four mile lap in 56 minutes and today I used my new iphone running app - see below :-) Feel inspired also by the lighter evenings and spring weather!

Shortened Google Maps URL: http://j.mp/HdMLzh
Started: 01.04.2012 17:10:43
Run Time: 1:09:27
Distance: 4.53 miles
Average Pace: 15:19 /mile
Fastest Pace: 8:23 /mile
Ascent: 394 feet
Descent: 421 feet
Calories: 557

This evening I saw The Iron Lady with my best Zurich friend Kerry. It was one of those films which fills your head and sends you out of the cinema with lots of ideas and questions. Have yet to hear Mark Kermode's Review, and I highly value his opînion, but I loved it.

I never agreed with her politics, but was always a little bit in awe of her ability to have succeeded in a man's world. The film was about more than her political life. It was a history lesson of Britain in the eighties and nineties. It was a story about the relationship between Maggie and Denis, but also about the parent child (grown up) relationship between Maggie and Carol. The film switches between present day Mrs T, alone, grieving Denis, increasingly confused, seeing to and talking to Denis - and Mrs T from young woman to Conservative Leader to Prime Minister.

At one point she says to Denis, "I don't want to die washing up tea cups" - she wanted a life of purpose, a career, a life of service.

She also recognises the dichtomoties of doing versus being someone, also feeling versus thinking.
"It used to be about trying to do something. Now it's about trying to be someone."

The film also explores her "adaptation" to the male political environment - change of style, voice training etc. In one scene in the House of Commons, she is heckled with "calm down" - sad to think the female politicians are still heckled with the same insult. Sad that women have to lower their voices, temper their emotions, fit in.

The film for me highlighted her strength and conviction of stepping up to lead the party and then the country, her stubborness in not changing tactic when the political environment change and ultimately her strength as an old woman. Whilst desperately mourning her husband and being comforted by her vivid memories /hallucations of him, she finally has the strength to clear out his clothes, and "let go" of him, recognising her aloneness and isolation. And the film ironically does end with her washing up - perhaps an acceptance of the balance of political power past and family life fading.

I found it unbearable sad at times. Certainly a film to watch again.

Make up is on, proper work clothes still fit, new school bag is packed, have drunk final cup of coffee and read the lovely card my friend Caro sent from Australia... time to go. Bring it on, I am ready (ish!)

Perfect monday with my boys
- chilling at home (trains, music, puzzles)
- Lunch all together
- bit of shopping in town
- trip to Starbucks
- playground to run off energy

And only 1 tantrum, and 3 pees in the potty :)

Mummy, Markus at the Stauffacher playground - Markus is at top of slide, patrick out of shot in pram!

... this will be my motto for this first week back at work. I have had 2 emails, 2texts and 2 cards wishing me courage and good luck. Thank you my friends!

Today found this wonderful you tube clip about the original "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster. The bookshop sounds amazing - trains and books, what could be better?

and we are teething! Two bottom teeth in place... and he is now really biting his food, as well as Mami!

Other than that, life is good. Patrick is going to sleep and bed much earlier, ie 2130, 2200 which is really helping me. However, he does wake between 5am and 6am for breakfast.

The baby led weaning is still going well and the nursery are also giving him food to nibble twice a day.

He and Markus laugh and laugh together, it's really lovely to see - long may it last!

Friday evening my friend Katie and I went to the Kaufleuten venue in Zurich for a book reading of "the Slap" by the author, Christos Tsiolkas. I loved the book when I read it. Christos was so interesting, had lots of interesting points to make about writing in general, the context to the book, the TV adaptation of it (see notes below). The evening reminded me that I need to find more time in my life to be creative and get creative cultural inputs!
Had a quick chat with him afterwards, told him how much I loved the book and the film adaptation and he signed my copy!

Guardian review of book
Guardian interview with Christos

I had fun this week :-)
- upgraded to iphone
- got new bag for work
- haircut and colour
- facial
- Lunch by myself
- Went to a bookreading at the Kaufleuten (more on this later)
- Met Jill for a walk by the lake with the boys
- Went to cinema with mr.ncot (Thanks to Karen for babysitting)
- Time to write in Starbucks
- Visit to Paul Klee Museum in Berne with Alan

I have found my bike in the cellar, serviced it, raised the saddle, got me a basket for the back and yesterday I did a test ride - it takes 7 minutes to ride to work, hurrah! Plus it's an easy route, so other than changing shoes, I can wear my normal work clothes.
Which raises the question: Why did I never ride my bike to work before? :-)

The plan is to ride to work, then at going home time, peddle like mad home, dump bike, change into running clothes, run 20 minutes to pick up boys, walk or get tram home.

Hoping that I can fit this regular exercise into my week!

As I go back to work, I need to keep reminding myself that I will still have time to do nice things for my boys and me :-) I will appreciate my weekends and days off even more. I will look forward to picking up my boys at the end of each day :-) And I have quite a lot of holiday saved, so occassionally I will take a day or two off, to look after myself.

So here's my motivational, forward looking, treat anticipating list!

March
Enjoy spring as it arrives
buy digital photo frame
Meet A in Zürich
Weekend with friends
photo shoot Mar 25th
Photo album with J Mar 31st
Pizza with D & L
Visit A and H

April
Easter weekend
?UK April trip

May
Asia spa on May 7th
May weekend in London

June
Patrick's Blessing
Enjoy Summer!

August/September
2 week family holiday somewhere

Mr.ncot took the day off yesterday and we went to Berne on the train to visit the Paul Klee Museum. I knew there as a reason I liked Klee, see the stripy postcards below! There was an exhibition themed round childhood, with lots of line drawings of children, mothers, families. I really enjoyed. The centre piece was an oldfashioned fairground carousel, which was rotating backwards, very slowly! Mr.ncot wanted a go on it, but this was to be expected, according to the visitor notes...(See below)

I found wandering round the two galleries relaxing and thought provoking. The other exhibition explored the relationship between Paul Klee and one of his main patrons. The walls of this gallery had his line drawings and handwritten quotes. The one below says "I am my style" - a good principle to live by I think....I also loved his drawing of pregnant woman, thinking about her baby to be, suspended above her in a thought bubble. Not sure about the ears though :-) Tht title translates as "thinking about the baby to come"

We had time to wander together, to chat. When we got back to Zurich we walked into town and sat and had a drink together, before going to pick up the boys and then go out to supper as a family. Amazing how one day can revive you! Feel inspired to work more art and creative endeavours into my life...






"gehobener Horizont" 1932


"Nordsee bild" 1923


Gedanken an Nachkommenschaft 1937

My boys and I were confined to the house today (Markus has scarlatina, and is still infectious!) so we did some drawing with stencils and then turned on the ipod. Whenever Markus hears his cds (mostly sent to us by "Aunty Cake" ie my sister Kate!) he runs to the cupboard and gets out the box of percussion instruments. And away we played, Patrick mostly chewed on his maraca!

Patrick's two botttom teeth are coming through and very sharpy they are too! He has been teething for what seems like months, but I only realised the teeth were through when breastfeeding became inexplicably painful this last week :-) He has also found his feet, loves playing with feet whilst on back. Can sit unaided now, but needs supervision as he topples over fairly easily. Really bending to one side, but no rolling yet.

Weeks 32 and 33

I loved this Guardian article about Girl Guides going from strength to strength! I loved the fact that so many people commented and most women valued the female only space that Girl Guiding gives them.

I was in the organisation from 7 to 27. I was a Brownie, Guide, Young Leader, Guider. I ran a Brownie Pack when I was a student in Sheffield. I went to Norway on an international camp when I was 14, played with the National Scout and Guide Symphony orchestra for 4 years when I was at Sixth Form/University. I worked as a volunteer in Sri Lanka for 3 months when I was 18 with Guides and I served on 3 national committees as a young Guider. And I got my Queen's Guide and went to Kensington Palace to receive it when I was 19!

And then work took off, real life took over and I just didn't have the time to volunteer. I am so grateful to everything I learnt in those 20 years. I can pitch a tent, light a fire and cook on it, do a bedding roll, make washing up bowl stands from wood! and sing any number of stupid songs. As an introverted, geeky, "not cool" teenager, Guides helped me find my space. It gave me the confidence to lead and be creative. I wish I had a daughter, so she could experience it too. I wish I had more time to volunteer again.

Long live Girlguidiing! Here's a photo of me and a mate on Guide camp! Happy days...

clearing up the flat :-( Up and down stairs to cellar and attic. Next box of baby clothes unloaded, last lot put away. And on it goes!
3:19 PM - 1 Feb 12via web ·

Feeling perfectly torn http://j.mp/wbo89b
4:37 PM - 1 Feb 12via LiveJournal.com

coffee time alone http://flic.kr/p/bnSSbV
11:00 AM - 3 Feb 12via Flickr

V excited! Waiting at airport for flight to brussels for mums 70th birthday surprise. Ssshhhh :-)
8:02 PM - 3 Feb 12via txt

had a lovely weekend in Brussels surprising my mum for her 70th birthday. Now chilling with takeout for the evening with our lovely friends!
8:09 PM - 5 Feb 12via web

an hour to myself - how to spend it?
2:44 PM - 7 Feb 12via web

Faith in human nature restored. Tram driver saw me running with pram and stopped for me :-) merci vielmal zvv driver!
10:02 AM - 8 Feb 12via txt

First morning drop off with both kids and fairly hellish. Arrived late and v unhappy toddler as i left :-( baby was smiling though. Me? ...
9:27 AM - 14 Feb 12via txt

Ran full pelt for tram this morning. Pushing pram, toddler under arm. Tram sees me but pulls off anyway. About to swear when toddler says quietly "oh dear"!
9:29 AM - 14 Feb 12via txt

snowing, snowing, snowing! Am having a day of organising, shredding, making plans!
10:50 AM - 15 Feb 12via web

Baby P's first "proper" day at nursery - I keep feeling something's missing and looking for him in the flat :-) Roll on home time!
3:24 PM - 15 Feb 12via web

watching "one born every minute" and crying as usual!
11:06 PM - 15 Feb 12via web

exercise done for the day - Thanks Davina (love her "power of 3" dvd)!
11:14 AM - 16 Feb 12via web

Feeling happy and light of heart for the first time for several months :-)
12:14 PM - 17 Feb 12via web

listening to "Let them talk" by hugh laurie and LOVING IT!
4:42 PM - 17 Feb 12via web

2011 Lesson #2 : Don’t Carpe Diem http://shar.es/g3QKH beautiful post on the challenges of being a mum, struggling and loving our families!
8:21 PM - 18 Feb 12via Tweet Button

baby P is close to rolling but can't quite make the final flip. Instead he swivels round 180 degrees and does the bridge pose!
8:14 PM - 19 Feb 12via web

What's better than doing my davina exercise dvd for an hour? Doing it whilst my toddler joins in :-)
8:15 PM - 19 Feb 12via web

monday is potty boot camp day. So far - 1 pee in potty, 1 poo in potty, 2 stickers, 2 pairs of pants and one proud mummy!
10:48 AM - 20 Feb 12via web

finally, silence from the toddlers room. Hope this means he has finally gone to sleep :-) Now just have to get baby down and then I can nap!
2:30 PM - 20 Feb 12via web

beautiful crisp blue sunny day. could spring be on the way already?
2:17 PM - 21 Feb 12via txt

sick baby with (first) cold, but bonus day at home with him at least. We are both staying warm and cosy in bed all day to recover :-)
11:10 AM - 22 Feb 12via web

finished sorting my clothes out ready to go back to work - need to lose at least 8kg before I can fit into most of my clothes!
5:10 PM - 22 Feb 12via web

happy thinking day! Remembering many many happy years as a brownie, guide, young leader, guider, brown owl & lots of good times with friends
8:31 PM - 22 Feb 12via web

Hurrah, now up to date with my blog and photos - feel in control of things again!
8:55 PM - 22 Feb 12via web

one toddler and husband just gone out for walk, one baby asleep, what is Mummy to do? :-)
10:39 AM - 25 Feb 12via web

trying to wean toddler off dummy - cold turkey isn't working! Have just given in and replaced said dummy. any tips?
2:25 PM - 25 Feb 12via web

boys out, exercise done, hot bath, nice cup of tea and book waiting - happiness!
11:52 AM - 26 Feb 12via web

Hmm, seems we live in the most expensive city in the world! http://www.economist.com/blogs/graphicdetail/2012/02/daily-chart-7?fb_source=hovercard
9:12 AM - 27 Feb 12via web

happy - lost nearly 1 kg this week! the only way is down from here :-)
9:13 AM - 27 Feb 12via web

Patrick's first tooth (bottom) is coming through - discovered yesterday when he was gnawing on my finger!
2:56 PM - 27 Feb 12via web

another milestone - toddler does first proper wee in potty - oh the excitement of being a mum ;-)
2:57 PM - 27 Feb 12via web

toddler was tantrum-y yesterday - we now have a "naughty step" and I am not afraid to use it! Phrase of yesterday? "Sorry Mummy!"
9:02 AM - 28 Feb 12via web

another beautiful sunny spring day here in Zurich!
11:39 AM - 29 Feb 12via web

Celebrating "three years" of being engaged and married to lovely mr.ncot! I asked him to marry me on Feb 29th 2000 :-)
11:39 AM - 29 Feb 12via web

hubbie has taught toddler to "burp", I have taught toddler to say "pardon me" - fair division of labour you think?
12:33 PM - 29 Feb 12via web

... I asked mr.ncot to marry me. A good choice and decision all round I feel! 29th February 2000. I gave him a gold Claddagh ring, which I now wear (since I lost my engagement ring!)


New Years Eve 1999, London